“Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.”
“Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.”
“The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.”
“I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.”
“There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.”
“What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.”
“Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated as they are, only way more mysterious. The whole point is guys are not thinking much. They are just what they appear to be. Tragically.”