“There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.”
“Why resist temptation? There will always be more.”
“Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back.”
“A humorist is a person who feels bad, but who feels good about it.”
“It is a good thing that life is not as serious as it seems to a waiter.”
“Unhappiness is not knowing what we want, and killing ourselves to get it.”
“Poverty must have many satisfactions, else there would not be so many poor people.”
“There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else on the globe.”
“Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow.”
“There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.”