“Success is simply a matter of luck. Ask any failure.”
“Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone, you don't.”
“Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.”
“Modern man drives a mortgaged car over a bond-financed highway on credit-card gas.”
“Money in the bank is like toothpaste in the tube. Easy to take out, hard to put back.”
“Somebody figured it out -- we have 35 million laws trying to enforce Ten Commandments.”
“Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.”
“This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.”
“Nowadays people can be divided into three classes -- the haves the have-nots and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves”