“If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.”
“In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of entertainment.”
“She was short on intellect, but long on shape.”
“For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.”
“Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense.”
“Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.”
“Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.”
“The time to enjoy a European tour is about three weeks after you unpack.”
“A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.”
“After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity.”