“The hardest task of a girl's life, nowadays, is to prove to a man that his intentions are serious.”
“It is easier to keep half a dozen lovers guessing than to keep one lover after he has stopped guessing.”
“Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.”
“The follies which a man regrets most in his life, are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.”
“Failing to be there when a man wants her is a woman's greatest sin, except to be there when he doesn't want her.”
“Don't waste time trying to break a man's heart; be satisfied if you can just manage to chip it in a brand new place.”
“Call the bald man, ''Boy;'' make the sage thy toy; greet the youth with solemn face; praise the fat man for his grace.”
“Telling lies is a fault in a boy, an art in a lover, an accomplishment in a bachelor, and second-nature in a married man.”
“Woman! The peg on which the wit hangs his jest, the preacher his text, the cynic his grouch, and the sinner his justification!”
“A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.”
“Every man wants a woman to appeal to his better side, his nobler instincts and his higher nature -- and another woman to help him forget them.”
“A man can become so accustomed to the thought of his own faults that he will begin to cherish them as charming little ''personal characteristics.''”
“A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.”
“Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he'll go to sleep before you finish saying it.”
“There's so much saint in the worst of them, and so much devil in the best of them, that a woman who's married to one of them, has nothing to learn of the rest of them.”
“A widow is a fascinating being with the flavor of maturity, the spice of experience, the piquancy of novelty, the tang of practiced coquetry, and the halo of one man's approval.”
“When a man spends his time giving his wife criticism and advice instead of compliments, he forgets that it was not his good judgment, but his charming manners, that won her heart.”
“After marriage, a woman's sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man's so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her.”
“No girl who is going to marry need bother to win a college degree; she just naturally becomes a ''Master of Arts'' and a ''Doctor of Philosophy'' after catering to an ordinary man for a few years.”
“To make a man perfectly happy tell him he works too hard, that he spends too much money, that he is ''misunderstood'' or that he is ''different''; none of this is necessarily complimentary, but it will flatter him infinitely more that merely telling him that he is brilliant, or noble, or wise, or good.”