“The other day I got out my can-opener and was opening a can of worms when I thought, What am I doing?!”
“I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.”
“The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lay down on some seaweed and roll around in it until he's completely draped in it. Then he'll stand up and go hey, I'm Vine Man.”