“Discussion in America means dissent.”
“He who hesitates is sometimes saved.”
“I love the idea of there being two sexes, don't you?”
“You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.”
“A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption.”
“Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?”
“A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn't make any sense.”
“It is better to have loafed and lost than never to have loafed at all.”
“You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.”
“Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead.”
“There are two kinds of light -- the glow that illumines, and the glare that obscures.”
“All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why.”
“The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.”
“The laughter of man is more terrible than his tears, and takes more forms -- hollow, heartless, mirthless, maniacal.”
“I always begin at the left with the opening word of the sentence and read toward the right and I recommend this method.”
“When all things are equal, translucence in writing is more effective than transparency, just as glow is more revealing than glare.”
“My drawings have been described as pre-internationalist, meaning that they were finished before the ideas for them had occurred to me. I shall not argue the point.”
“Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.”
“Speed is scarcely the noblest virtue of graphic composition, but it has its curious rewards. There is a sense of getting somewhere fast, which satisfies a native American urge.”
“My opposition lies in the fact that offhand answers have little value or grace of expression, and that such oral give and take helps to perpetuate the decline of the English language.”
“From now on, I think it is safe to predict, neither the Democratic nor the Republican Party will ever nominate for President a candidate without good looks, stage presence, theatrical delivery, and a sense of timing.”
“Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to one's poise and prestige (such as the butler, or the man under the bed -- but never the husband).”
“The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people --that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature.”
“Editing should be, especially in the case of old writers, a counseling rather than a collaborating task. The tendency of the writer-editor to collaborate is natural, but he should say to himself, ''How can I help this writer to say it better in his own style?'' and avoid ''How can I show him how I would write it, if it were my piece?''”
“But those rare souls whose spirit gets magically into the hearts of men, leave behind them something more real and warmly personal than bodily presence, an ineffable and eternal thing. It is everlasting life touching us as something more than a vague, recondite concept. The sound of a great name dies like an echo; the splendor of fame fades into nothing; but the grace of a fine spirit pervades the places through which it has passed, like the haunting loveliness of mignonette.”
“Love is what you've been through with somebody.”
“Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.”
“Why do you have to a nonconformist like everybody else?”
“While he was not as dumb as an ox, he was not any smarter either.”
“It's better to know some of the questions than all of the answers.”