“Once I make up my mind, I'm full of indecision.”
“An epigram is only a wisecrack that's played at Carnegie Hall.”
“Every time I look at you I get a fierce desire to be lonesome.”
“It's not what your are, it's what you don't become that hurts.”
“Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic, and so am I.”
“I've given up reading books. I find it takes my mind off myself.”
“Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.”
“There are two sides to every question: my side and the wrong side.”
“Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.”
“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
“Once he makes up his mind, he's full of indecision. [On Dwight D. Eisenhower]”
“What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.”
“Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you will find the real tinsel underneath.”