“Never go to bed angry, stay up and fight.”
“Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.”
“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.”
“I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?”
“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age -- as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.”