“I'm as pure as the driven slush.”
“I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.”
“Nobody can be exactly like me. Sometimes even I have trouble doing it.”
“It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work -- the night watchman.”
“I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.”
“Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, ''I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right.''”
“No man worth his salt, no man of spirit and spine, no man for whom I could have any respect, could rejoice in the identification of Tallulah's husband. It's tough enough to be bogged down in a legend. It would be even tougher to marry one.”
“I've been called many things, but never an intellectual.”
“If I had my life to live again. I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.”
“I've tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw.”