“Although he's regularly asked to do so, God does not take sides in American politics.”
“Politics are such a torment that I would advise every one I love not to mix with them.”
“The greatest art of a politician is to render vice serviceable to the cause of virtue.”
“Politics is a choice of enemas. You're gonna get it up the ass, no matter what you do.”
“Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.”
“Honest statesmanship is the wise employment of individual meanness for the public good.”
“People start parades -- politicians just get out in front and act like they're leading.”
“In order to remain true to oneself one ought to renounce one's party three times a day.”
“Since a politician never believes what he says, he is surprised when others believe him.”
“Get thee glass eyes, and like a scurvy politician, seem to see the things thou dost not.”
“The Prime Minister has an absolute genius for putting flamboyant labels on empty luggage.”
“Little other than a red tape Talking-machine, and unhappy Bag of Parliamentary Eloquence.”
“Did you ever notice that when a politician does get an idea he usually gets it all wrong.”
“Politics is not worrying this country one-tenth as much as where to find a parking space.”
“It only takes a politician believing in what he says for the others to stop believing him.”
“Son, in politics you've got to learn that overnight chicken shit can turn to chicken salad.”
“Politics, whatever its professions, has always been the systematic organization of hatreds.”
“Any established village; could afford a town drunkard, a town atheist, and a few Democrats.”
“What this country needs is radicals who will stay that way regardless of the creeping years.”
“It is our experience that political leaders do not always mean the opposite of what they say.”
“In politics people give you what they think you deserve and deny you what they think you want.”
“I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers; what I said was all saloonkeepers are Democrats.”
“Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build A bridge even where there is no river.”
“We are not just here to manage capitalism but to change society and to define its finer values.”
“There is no gambling like politics. Nothing in which the power of circumstance is more evident.”
“It is unfair to expect a politician to live in private up to the statements he makes in public.”
“I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us where people don't talk politics.”
“Don't buy a single vote more than necessary. I'll be damned if I'm going to pay for a landslide.”
“The politician is like an acrobat : he keeps his balance By saying the opposite of what he does.”
“Ignorance makes most men go into a political party, and shame keeps them from getting out of it.”