“No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.”
“The path of sound credence is through the thick forest of skepticism.”
“The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.”
“Love demands infinitely less than friendship.”
“I only drink to make other people seem more interesting.”
“Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few.”
“Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.”
“Patriotism is a arbitrary veneration of real estate above principles.”
“An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.”
“To speak of morals in art is to speak of legislature in sex. Art is the sex of the imagination.”
“A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.”