“I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.”
“I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.”
“Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.”
“The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.”
“Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.”
“The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep.”
“Life is a tough proposition and the first hundred years are the hardest.”
“A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.”
“Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.”
“There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger.”
“The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong.”
“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.”
“If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.”
“A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.”
“I have known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, but never had a thought.”
“Always be nice to people on the way up; because you'll meet the same people on the way down.”
“Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.”