Who said “Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.”?

“To eat is to appropriate by destruction.”

“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.”

“There is no love sincerer than the love of food.”

“He who is a slave to his stomach seldom worships God.”

“He who does not mind his belly, will hardly mind anything else.”

“Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.”

“The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”

“All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.”

“Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.”

“Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.”

“Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”