Who said “Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure…”?

“What would life be without arithmetic, but a scene of horrors?”

“Yet what are all such gaieties to me whose thoughts are full of indices and surds?”

“Mathematics may be defined as the subject in which we never know what we are talking about, nor whether what we are saying is true.”

“So-called professional mathematicians have, in their reliance on the relative incapacity of the rest of mankind, acquired for themselves a reputation for profundity very similar to the reputation for sanctity possessed by theologians.”

“Mathematics may be compared to a mill of exquisite workmanship, which grinds your stuff to any degree of fineness; but, nevertheless, what you get out depends on what you put in; and as the grandest mill in the world will not extract wheat flour from peas cods, so pages of formulae will not get a definite result out of loose data.”

“Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.”

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.”

“The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”

“All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.”

“Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.”

“Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.”