Who said “The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”?

“I find we are growing serious, and then we are in great danger of being dull.”

“There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that is all.”

“Say nothing good of yourself, you will be distrusted; say nothing bad of yourself, you will be taken at your word.”

“We do not talk -- we bludgeon one another with facts and theories gleaned from cursory readings of newspapers, magazines and digests.”

“No collection of people who are all waiting for the same thing are capable of holding a natural conversation. Even if the thing they are waiting for is only a taxi.”

“Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.”

“Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.”

“All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.”

“Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.”

“Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.”

“Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”