Who said “Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the…”?

“This strange disease of modern life, with its sick hurry, its divided aims.”

“Postmodernism is among other things a sick joke at the expense of revolutionary avant-gardism.”

“Don't bother about being modern. Unfortunately it is the one thing that, whatever you do, you cannot avoid.”

“In societies where modern conditions of production prevail, all of life presents itself as an immense accumulation of spectacles. Everything that was directly lived has moved away into a representation.”

“A multitude of causes unknown to former times are now acting with a combined force to blunt the discriminating powers of the mind, and unfitting it for all voluntary exertion to reduce it to a state of almost savage torpor.”

“The funniest line in English is ''Get it?'' When you say that, everyone chortles.”

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”

“Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.”

“Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.”

“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.”

“One day Donald Trump will discover that he is owned by Lutheran Brotherhood and must re negotiate his debt load with a committee of silent Norwegians who don't understand why anyone would pay more than $120.00 for a suit.”