Who said “Things are seldom what they seem.”?

“God loveth the clean.”

“Cleanliness is indeed next to godliness.”

“There's one thing about baldness, it's neat.”

“He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.”

“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”

“...Darwinian Man, though well-behav’d, At best is only a monkey shav’d!”

“My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering.”

“The idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone, All centuries but this, and every country but his own.”

“I love my fellow creatures -- I do all the good I can -- yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man!”

“In enterprise of martial kind, when there was any fighting, he led his regiment from behind -- he found it less exciting.”

“I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.”