Who said “Every autobiography is concerned with two characters, a Don Quixote, the Ego, and a…”?

“An autobiography is obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.”

“When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do -- well, that's Memoirs.”

“All those writers who write about their own childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine you wouldn't sit in the same room with me.”

“Members rise from CMG (known sometimes in Whitehall as ''Call Me God'') to KCMG (''Kindly Call Me God'') to GCMG (''God Calls Me God'').”

“I write fiction and I'm told it's autobiography, I write autobiography and I'm told it's fiction, so since I'm so dim and they're so smart, let them decide what it is or it isn't.”

“We must love one another or die.”

“Criticism should be a casual conversation.”

“You have to see the sex act comically, as a child.”

“A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.”

“God bless the U.S.A., so large, So friendly, and so rich.”

“Fame often makes a writer vain, but seldom makes him proud.”