“Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.”
“Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.”
“Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.”
“Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.”
“Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.”
“Woman absent is woman dead.”
“When in Rome, do as Rome does.”
“Habit is a shackle for the free.”
“Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.”
“The covers of this book are too far apart.”
“Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.”
“A man is known by the company he organizes.”
“Think twice before you speak to a friend in need.”
“Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.”
“An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!”
“Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.”
“To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.”
“Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.”
“A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.”
“Truth -- An ingenious compound of desirability and appearance.”
“Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.”
“Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.”
“A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.”
“Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.”
“Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.”
“Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.”
“Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.”
“Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.”
“To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.”
“The are and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.”